Rest Is Productive: Helping Clients Reframe Downtime
We live in a culture that celebrates being busy. Productivity is praised, multitasking is admired, and exhaustion is often mistaken for commitment. It is no surprise that many clients come into coaching sessions believing that rest is something to earn rather than something they need. They might say they will rest once things calm down, once the project is done, or once they finally get their health in order. As trauma informed coaches, we know that healing does not wait for stillness to appear on its own. Rest is not a reward. It is part of the process.
When the nervous system has been running on overdrive for months or years, rest can even feel uncomfortable. A client may describe feeling guilty when they take a break or restless when they try to slow down. They may associate rest with laziness, failure, or loss of control. This is where coaching becomes powerful. You can help clients notice that their discomfort is not proof that rest is wrong. It is simply their body learning a new pattern.
Start by normalizing that rest is not only about sleep. It is about recovery, regulation, and repair. There are many kinds of rest: physical, emotional, sensory, creative, social, and even cognitive. Someone who cannot sit still might benefit from active rest such as walking outside or cooking quietly. Someone who is emotionally drained might need solitude or stillness. The goal is not to fit into one definition but to find what truly restores energy and safety.
In coaching sessions, help clients explore what rest means to them. You can ask gentle questions such as:
“When do you feel most at ease?”
“What happens in your body when you try to slow down?”
“What kind of rest feels safe right now?”
It can also help to frame rest as part of productivity rather than its opposite. The nervous system cannot stay in fight or flight and expect sustained focus, digestion, creativity, or healing. Just like muscles need recovery time after exercise, the mind and body need pauses to consolidate learning and growth. When you explain this to clients through a physiological lens, rest stops feeling indulgent and starts feeling intelligent.
Many clients benefit from structure around rest, especially if slowing down feels unfamiliar. You can co create what we call a “rest menu.” A rest menu is a simple list of ways a client can recharge throughout the day or week. It works best when it includes options for different time frames and energy levels. For example:
Five minute options: Step outside and feel the air. Stretch your shoulders. Take slow breaths while holding something warm.
Thirty minute options: Eat lunch without multitasking. Take a walk with no phone. Listen to music that feels calming.
Half day or longer options: Turn off notifications. Spend time in nature. Read for pleasure.
Encourage clients to build their menu from real experiences, not ideals. Rest does not have to look like meditation or spa days. For one person, it might mean sitting in silence. For another, it might mean talking with a trusted friend or spending time with a pet. What matters most is that the activity allows the nervous system to shift from constant activation toward a sense of safety.
As coaches, we can also model rest in our presence. When you speak slowly, allow silence, or give clients time to pause before answering, you are teaching rest by example. You are showing that slowing down is not a waste of time. It is an act of respect for the body’s natural rhythm.
Remind clients that rest often brings up emotion. When the body finally slows, feelings that were held at bay can surface. This is normal and even healing. Encourage them to approach these moments with compassion rather than self criticism. The appearance of emotion is a sign that the body is beginning to trust the pause.
If a client resists rest or insists they cannot slow down, stay curious. You might explore what rest represented in their past. For some people, rest was unsafe or associated with being unproductive. Understanding this can help reframe the discomfort as protection rather than defiance. Over time, with small experiments in slowing down, clients can learn that rest does not erase progress. It sustains it.
You can also connect the concept of rest to the idea of ventral vagal regulation. In this state, the body feels safe enough to connect, digest, and repair. Rest is one of the ways we access that state. When clients begin to see rest as a way to create internal safety, they understand that it directly supports their mental clarity, digestion, hormone balance, and emotional resilience.
For trauma informed coaches, this perspective is essential. Our work is not only about behavior change. It is about helping people live in alignment with their biology. The human body was not designed to be productive every waking hour. It was designed for rhythm, for alternating between action and restoration.
As you wrap up sessions this month, invite clients to make rest part of their wellness plan. Have them write out their rest menu and keep it somewhere visible. Encourage them to check in daily and ask, “What kind of rest do I need right now?” Celebrate when they choose to slow down, even briefly. Those small decisions add up to nervous system safety and sustainable growth.
And remember that this message applies to you, too. Coaches often carry invisible workloads of care, energy, and empathy. Resting between sessions, taking a walk after work, or giving yourself permission to pause before the next task helps you hold space with more ease.
In the end, rest is not time lost. It is time that returns us to ourselves. It allows the body to integrate what it has learned, to soften its defenses, and to build the capacity to keep going.